“To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colours of a rainbow.”
Maya Angelou
It’s Mothers’ Day! One of the (far too few) times of the year we actually give our mothers the gratitude they deserve. Motherhood is strength, grace, patience, tenacity, wisdom and lots and lots of love. Our mothers provide us with a certain comfort and peace that no-one else can replicate. I truly believe that no matter how old we are, we all have times when we just want a cuddle from our mums to make everything better.
For those of us whose mothers are no longer physically with us, those times can be pretty dark. What starts out as a crappy day soon leads to a sudden urge to talk to your mum, which very quickly transforms into the jarring realisation that you can’t.
Ever again.
It’s awful. It’s up there with my least favourite feelings in the world. But over time, I’ve learnt to appreciate the time that I had with her, and to channel her when I need her.
I see my mother everywhere, every day. I see her in beautifully overgrown gardens. I see her in books that make me laugh. I see her in flowers as they begin to bloom. I see her in the shallows of the ocean, where the water is just clear enough to see the sand tumbling below. I hear her voice when I hear people speaking French. I see her in handwritten recipes. I see her when I wash my dogs. I see her in my Sudokus and crosswords. I see her when we’re dancing in the kitchen. I see her in the clouds when they make funny shapes in the sky. I see her swaying when Norah Jones plays. I see her in the laughter of friends and family. I feel her warmth when the sun shines on my back. I see her anywhere there is colour, vibrance, warmth and positivity. Most importantly – and, I suppose, the thing I’m most proud of – I am beginning to see her in myself.
She was a truly exceptional mother, and more importantly, she was a truly exceptional human being – beyond her role as my mother. Motherhood did not define her; she was her own person with skills and interests and knowledge and passion. That is not to say that every other mother lacks those things, but I think it’s important to appreciate them for everything that they are. My mother was so much more than a mum, which is just remarkable because she was a bloody good mum. Just imagine how extraordinary she was in every other aspect of her life! The mind boggles.
We all love her, we miss her, we are grateful for her every day.
At the same time, I am endlessly grateful for every other mother in my world. My many and wonderful aunties, my grandmothers in spirit, the mothers of my closest friends, my mother- and grandmother-in-law, those who have looked after me like mothers, mother Earth, friends who have become mothers, mothers-to-be –
you are all ESSENTIAL workers who don’t get paid enough!
(Like teachers and nurses, but with even less pay.)
The work you do is so important. I hope you feel valued and appreciated every day. If you don’t, then I hope at least you feel valued and appreciated today.
Hug your mums!*
*from a responsible distance of 1.5m, after sanitising your hands.
She’s not a regular mum, she’s a cool mum.